Be Still; My Beating Heart

I have a new love.

Many who know me well will be shocked to learn that my decisive, logical, and over-analytical nature has allowed me to enter into a state that is known for its irrational behavior and constant variables.

However, (against many odds), I do find myself (and using a cliché I've often chided) falling head-over-heels in love. My new obsession: Ode Magazine for Intelligent Optimists.

Our unlikely union began when I caught sight of the magazine's tag line in a CVS store while browsing the latest Newsweek issue. They always say (whoever they are!) that you fall in love when you least expect it, and I guess I was victim of the same fate.

I re-read the slogan, "for intelligent optimists" and felt my heart start to twitter. While I do consider myself a pure optimist (my life work has been cheering and advocating for the underdogs) the jury is still out on the intelligence issue. Case in point: this afternoon I tried to unlock the front door of my house by pressing the "unlock" button on my car keys. I was standing there a few moments before I figured out the flaw in my thinking. At any rate, I started to develop a crush, and decided to investigate further as I read the magazine's byline and felt my heart start to pound with each sentence read:

"We are an independent international journal, without strings to the world of commerce and power. We believe in progress, ongoing opportunities, and the creativity of humankind. We contribute to the progress by publishing stories about people and ideas that are making a difference. We address society's problems too, because they represent opportunities for positive change. We publish stories that bridge the gap of the rich and poor. By doing so we build peace and sustainability. this is the news we promise to deliver. We offer our readers the chance to link up with an international network of inspiration and cooperation, strengthening the forces devoted to respect, justice and equality. This way we hope to invite them to make their own contributions to a more just and sustainable world Ode Magazine)".

Needless to say, this paragraph was a major turn-on, and I felt my cold, cold heart start to melt.

That was the moment our love affair began.

Like a good love interest, Ode brings new ideas and perspectives into my life, as it causes me to analyze situations in new and challenging ways, while always paying homage to my previous convictions (and allowing me to change at my own pace!). It is smart, witty, full of interesting conversational pieces, and allows my mind to wander to far away places. Its the perfect companion after a long day of tireless work, and it always brings out the best in me without being too preachy or patronizing. However, above all, Ode has the one quality that makes it an irresistible companion above all others: it truly, deeply understands me and my needs! :)

No more do I have to feel inadequate as I yearn for interesting news stories and human interest pieces that are intellectual and meaningful. No longer do I need to feel bombarded by topics that depress me and call for internalization and unsatisfied grappling. Gone are the days of reading articles and feeling our world is a mean, cruel place with no room for growth and prosperity. This one magazine has taken my dreams, and made them a concrete-and not irrational-reality. To me, that is true love.

Now before I take this metaphor too far (perhaps I have already crossed that line!) it is hard to find simple inspiration in a world where negativity (not just sex) sells. I realize that I am in a profession that seems to be in constant turmoil as we face problems and issues that at times seem unsolvable, and I know that our nation is steeped in "bad vibes" (whether it be about the economy, the environment, commerce, safety, prosperity, development, religiosity, politics, education, health, foreign policy or many other topics). In addition, we live in a world where we don't feel as if we have any control, so we complain to regain some of the power that we have lost in order to attempt to deal with our feelings of being unsatisfied (as with any bad relationship).

As a critical thinker, I do realize its a little asinine of me to think that one magazine has the capability to wave a magic wand and change all of the complex issues that we face as citizens of the world, but it does attempt to make us take stock in our meta-cognitive capabilities and think outside of the box instead of just complain about it. I have a lot of friends and colleagues who want to tell me what is wrong with the world, (and think that I live in a utopian bubble of optimistic idealism that could one day qualify me for a psychiatric ward) but very few who help me focus on what is good with this existence that I wake up to each day. I appreciate Ode because it takes theory to a new level and actually doesn't just tell me about what is good in life (or help me tune-out to its negative tendencies through the media's distracting massage), but it illustrates to me people and situations that are beating the odds by making idealism occur everyday. As a bonus, its not as cheesy or unrealistic as a Lifetime movie, either.

As I sit here with a big, toothy, twitterpated grin (procrastinating on all of the undesirable things I have to do today), I find myself realizing that perhaps true love is possible after all. It starts with my ability to be inspired, and the courage to actually live a life on the less-traveled road of optimism. When contemplating the dull humdrum of suburban society, Jack Kerouac in The Dharma Bums said, "You'll see what I mean, when it begins to appear like everybody in the world is soon going to be thinking the same way and the Zen Lunatics have long joined dust, laughter on their dust lips" (104).

Perhaps some may see me as a "Zen Lunatic" but at least I know that now I have an entity in my life that will accept me as I am, and make no harsh judgment.

In the end, THAT is all a single gal could ask for. :)