In Remembrance of my Namesake

The following was written for my Uncle Dean's memorial service in Dayton, Ohio. He passed away on Tuesday, October 6, 2009. These words only partially capture my feelings of remembrance, for as we know, you can't summarize an entire lifetime into a few paragraphs. He often told me how much he enjoyed reading my blogs, for he was also a kindred spirit of creativity.

"On Ode to Peter Pan"

As a lover of stories, I've always cherished my own exposition into the world as I was born on my Uncle Dean's 21st Birthday, and given my middle name, Deane, in his honor. Most college students would have perhaps sent a card or given a phone call of congratulations, but my uncle marked my entrance into the world by writing me a lullaby that he performed at my dedication, and by copying over 150 hours of "Uncle Dan and Aunt Sue: My Story Hour" on tapes that had individually applied yellow labels all bearing my name. These tapes became well-worn as my uncle vicariously "told" my brother, sister, and myself our bedtime stories each night.

Little did I know that this act would highlight two of my uncle's best and well-known qualities: sharing stories and unapologetically reproducing copy-righted works! I'm sure that there are many in this audience who will continue to come across a random CD or DVD bearing the name of an appreciated music group or show, perhaps even attached to a post-it note with a scrawled joke. A highlight in our family was receiving a video tape containing our favorite Disney movies that my parents never saw the need to buy. Even in college, I would open little packages featuring the latest musical--and when he was particularly enthusiastic I would also receive the music with various parts, the instrumental version, a flyer, the program, ticket stub, and the sheet music just in case I might want to recreate it!

In terms of stories, he was the best at telling them, singing them, joking with them, remembering them, creating them, and perhaps even stretching them a time or two. Being the first grandchild on the Morris side, I became a frequent visitor at Nonnie & Papa's house, and my Uncle Dean took it upon himself to make sure that we created as many stories together as possible. He was always focused on a latest fascination and would involve me in many of these adventures whether it be throwing boomerangs, building and launching model rockets, flying kites, sewing pillows and stuffed toys, gardening, candle-making, and even collecting butterflies. All of the cousins have recounted that while you always knew you were going to have a fun time with Nonnie & Papa, the moment Uncle Dean burst through the door, the fun factor would sky rocket over the roof. It was then we knew that we had hit the jackpot: we didn't just have an uncle, but we had our very own real life Peter Pan who would sprinkle us with fairy dust and whisk us away on his adventures to Never-Never Land where we could stay up as late as our hearts desired, dine on foods forbidden by our parents, and always experience entertainment with bursts of happiness.

My cousin Marcus especially enjoyed the years of Easter Egg decorating in the spring, and pumpkin carving with trick-or-treating in the fall. Marcus lovingly referred to himself as a "lost boy" who looked up to his uncle with utter devotion. His loyalty was sealed when my uncle made him his own Batman cape that he flew around with for years. They also shared a love of movies, and my uncle would take Marcus to ANY film he wanted to see, which later inspired him to enroll in film school. Uncle Dean also gave him his first computer as a young child, and this passion grew in Marcus which has made him an expert in technology as he currently serves as the AV Ministries Director at the White Memorial Church. We've often remarked that when Marcus and Uncle Dean got together, soul mates reunited as they stayed up until the early morning hours while watching TV and eating fried-egg sandwiches.

He had a way of sharing his hobbies with those around him that inspired others to adopt his interests. My brother Brent recalled being fascinated with Uncle Dean's Boat, the SS Snooky Bear, as a young child and was thrilled when he received it as a gift when they made the move to Ohio. Now when Brent comes home from college, many months are spent preparing the boat for its end-of-summer voyage, which has educated him in countless hours of boat repair. It was also Uncle Dean who on our yearly pilgrimage to the Embassy Suites Hotel in Lompoc, Ca, got Brent and Marcus interested in geo-cashing, where you use a GPS device to uncover a specified location where a "treasure'" (and I use this term loosely) is buried. Brent was also thrilled when Uncle Dean took him to the Louisville Factory where he got a personalized baseball bat that remains one of his most prized possessions.

My sister Cheri recalls that Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday because she knew that while most of the guys would watch the football game and the women would be preparing the meal, Uncle Dean and Auntie Bev would be in the family room, playing countless games with all of us. He would instigate the competitiveness among us through many rounds of Balderdash, Taboo, and games he had purchased that we had not heard of yet. Once when Nonnie purchased a sit-down scooter, he made an obstacle course for Brent and Marcus to drive around. In that same spirit, we all recall how our first driving experiences had been sitting on his lap controlling the wheel as he controlled the petals (at very young ages!). He also gave great advice on how to avoid punishment. Our favorite story was when on the advice of his Aunt Dot, he was told to stuff his pants with a magazine to avoid the burn of a spanking. He decided to seek more protection, and put an encyclopedia in his pants, and could not figure out how it became discovered!

Always a joker, he also would share with us practical life information. For example, when flying on Southwest Airlines, always wear Billy Bob Buckteeth , don a cowboy hat and overalls if possible, sit in the middle seat, and greet as many people as possible enthusiastically while begging them to sit next to you. This is how you get an entire aisle to yourself. When I attended his Alma Mater, PUC, he made sure to sit down and tell me about all of his adventures there, including how at the end of the year he donated his and Uncle Kevin's colonial-looking desks to be added to the furniture display at Ellen White's home in Elmshaven. He bragged about how he had told others and even placed a note on the desk to say that Ellen's own writing had been inspired at that very spot. With a wink, he told me to keep my eye out for it. While we all hated being the object of one of his jokes, we would laugh hysterically as we recalled many pranks he had pulled off--including the fake rat he placed under Nonnie's piano, the tape-recorded piano lessons,replacing Auntie Karen's picture with one of the pet dog, and the time he put on a mask, walked up to Nonnie's bedroom and posed as a robber. In actuality, there were several family members who were visited by a masked Uncle Dean at one time or another, and we were always on guard for a possible "pantsing" episode when he was around.

While he loved playing the role of jokester, he was always the happiest among kids, and made it a point to get a laugh out of us no matter what. My Auntie Karen has three little boys, Liam, Ethan and Ewan, and he delighted in chasing them around the house for hours while tickling them to death, just as he had done with us. When we got together this past June for a picnic, my mom remarked on how he never entered the adult conversations, but rather spent the entire day under a blanket with the boys, playing games of hide and seek while entertaining them for hours. My cousins always went on and on about the coolest toys he would send, wrapped in newspaper comics, and just one funny face from him could keep them giggling for hours. He would have them in stitches just by pointing at something and saying, "Now what izzzzzzzz thiiiiiiiiiiiiiis?" We would have countless phrases that he added to our vocabulary that just don't make sense to the outside listener, and truthfully we have a hard time remembering some of their original meanings. He was talented at finding the funny in small things, and not letting those phrases go. EVER! :)

He was also notorious for taking us on adventures and adding, "now don't tell your mother about this"! My sister Cheri recounts how before being taken to a carnival one night, Uncle Dean stopped off at a store and bought her an entire half-quart of chocolate milk and explained, "this is the best chocolate milk you will ever drink in your entire life...drink it all right now, and don't tell your mom"! She was handed a straw and gulped down the entire bottle right there in the aisle, and did her best to ignore the upset stomach she received later while riding carnival rides. She also recalls the time he took us to the fair even when my mom had asked him not to take us, due to my sister's habit of getting lost. She in fact did disappear for quite some time, but later my uncle eloquently pointed out that he had found her, and in the process we had made some great life-lasting memories! Cheri also recounted how even going out to eat with Uncle Dean was an adventure as we experienced many interesting restaurants that our parents would never have ventured to take us to, including one where we ordered our food through a radio right at the table. In true Peter Pan fashion, he championed for the sake of fun, and fun always won.

This past summer when he visited California, we lived out childhood memories as we rode practically all of the rides at California Adventure, purchased our pictures from the roller coaster, and experienced every ride and show the park had to offer. We spent the day listening to him and Marcus exchange Chuck Norris jokes, and laughed as he teased Krystal throughout the day. True to the "never grow up" fashion, we ate all of the junk food we could hold down, compared our video game scores on the Toy Story ride seriously, and even took the interactive quiz to find out which Beauty and the Beast characters we were (he was the comic-relief candlestick, of course!). We also hogged the station were you could voice over Disney songs and scenes, and made several five-year-olds wait as we harmonized to songs he had introduced to all of us as kids.

Later on the next day at dinner, I found myself reverting to my adult "teacher tone" as I scolded him for feeding my little cousins packets of sugar before our meal. He looked at me as if to say, "when did you join the ranks of the grown-ups?" much like Peter Pan had said to Wendy when she decided to leave Neverland. When Wendy says goodbye to Peter at the window, they both realize that while their diverse worlds are comprised by differing rules and goals, they are both better people for the impressions that they made on one another, and for the adventures they took together. My cousins and I, along with everyone who knew my uncle, will never be the same again as Uncle Dean coated us with fairy dust through his stories, jokes, songs and adventures that took us to places that are usually never permitted to exist in the serious affairs of adults. As I reflect on how he inspired so many of the stories within my life and those around me, I feel so fortunate that I was able to be included in the adventure of his life. I hope that you, along with myself, will continue to live out, share, sing, and participate in stories that touch those around us, much like how my uncle did.

May we never forget our Peter, and the spirit of love and a zest for life that he sprinkled on each of us. I can't wait to meet with him on that glorious day as we will fly to the second star on the right, and straight on 'till morning. I'll focus on the joy I'll find when I leave this world behind, and find that I can fly, I can fly, I can fly, I can fly, I can fly. I'll see you in Heaven, Uncle Dean, and I can't wait for the stories that we'll share. Oh, and I'm pretty sure that since we were made in God's image, copy-right laws aren't going to be an issue as we'll share songs over and over again, and be God's children forever.